Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

‘The market is as clueless as the Fed’: Why this trader says stocks could continue to do well for months - MarketWatch

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

How do I find a transgender girlfriend?

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

It’s still here.

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

Building the 'Moonhouse': Q&A with artist Mikael Genberg - Space

I was tired of fighting.

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

Be who you already are.

Its year 2041, and president Hunter Biden has ordered every republican who sweared at him to be arrested and shot. I am on my way to the death row listening to the cheer of the Liberal mob chanting death death death. How can I escape?

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

I had run out of hope.

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

My landlord just sold the house I’m renting from her. She included all fixtures, that I bought and installed. Does she have this right?

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

Why should we share our wife with others?

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

The sadness was still there.

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

How to watch George Clooney in ‘Good Night, and Good Luck’ live for free - New York Post

I was tired of trying and failing.

It’s here now, writing to you.

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

My Husband Drinks a Pot of Coffee a Day—So I Asked the Experts If That's Safe - EatingWell

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

And the sadness?

You are like me, then.

Should parents force their kids to go to school when they are sick?

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.